Human Rights Each Day.com

More than pain in the dentist's chair

       So last week I’m in the dentist’s chair.  I’ve got cordless headsets on, watching Rick Steves Europe while Ken and his assistant are doing their best.  I can’t help but notice the rail-spike sized needles he’s pushing  into various parts of my mouth, but no pain during that, because he’d numbed my gums already.

       Then, somewhere during 15th Century Spanish history, I just happened to notice that Ken was literally sewing part of the roof of my mouth onto the side of my gums.  Now I’m not sure what I expected, but I didn’t think it involved quilting.

       So while I’m enjoying the wonders of the Catalonia region, I’m thinking, “Ooooh, this is going to hurt when the freezing wears off”, but to my surprise – and this is now ten days later – no pain.  Ok, I can’t let anyone punch me on that side of the mouth as the gums are healing, but other than that, virtually nothing (not even the “pizza burn” Ken said I’d get).

       I spoke to others about this and I realize I’m not the only one who recieved grafting for my receding gum line.  In fact there’s this whole secret society out there that don’t come out of the gum-closet, unless you mention it (I think there’s a handshake, but I don’t find out till the stitches are removed).  And every person who’s gone through this procedure has said they’ve gone through great pain, or they know someone who’s gone through great pain.  Everyone.  But not me.

       Two things I’ve learned from this.  One – we really must visit Barcelona, and Two – some things that are painful for some people aren’t painful for others.

       You can’t swing a fake-fur coat around without hitting someone who’s felt some pain, not from something physical, but from mere words.  There are those who say, “No big deal” or “I can handle it” while others are so devastated, they start a very formal process or take stress leave.

       I try not to judge, but I’m human and sometimes think a person is “milking” some situation when it’s really not a big deal.  And in rare situations, that’s the case.  But most of the time it’s not and I have to get rid of my judgement and try to understand what’s bugging that person when others let it roll off their backs.

       For a long time in Canada, our courts and human rights tribunals have spoken about reasonableness when it comes to determining if harassment and discrimination has taken place.  They don’t talk about one “reasonable man” but instead talk about reasonableness for a person in their particular circumstance.  Hence a “reasonable man” might care less about a sexist joke, while a “reasonable woman” could take great offence.  The same would hold true if your skin is not white, or you’re not part of the majority of heterosexual Canadians.

       But this isn’t ground-breaking.  We know there are differences for people, even when we’re out at night.  If you’re walking home from a movie, a couple guys might part ways as they head off in different directions.  However if there’s a woman with you, you’ll often walk her to her home or to her car.   It’s sad that this is the case, but we know that circumstances are different, even in our relatively safe Canada.

       So words, jokes and actions will be different for different people, based on their circumstances.  It’s not always going to be easy to know, as we’re not in people’s heads, but if we start out by being a bit more sensitive to the things we say, we listen when someone speaks up, and we learn from past experiences…it gets easier.  Pain, discomfort, offence, whichever word you use, people are going to respond differently and that’s just part of life.

       For now, wish me luck (knock on wood).  If all goes well, even when the stitches come out, I hope I don’t feel pain.  But if I do and I complain a little, I hope you’ll understand.

Ole!

Stephen

Winner of last skill testing question:  Holly Guran from Saskatoon gave the correct answer that Robert Latimer was sentenced to 10 years by the Supreme Court of Canada for killing his daughter who was in pain from many forms of disabilities.  Many of you had many things to say about the case, with personal stories.  Thanks for sharing.

Today's skill testing question:  On January 25, 2007 a town council in Quebec let immigrants know they are welcome to move to their town, and they adopted a set of "standards" to help them out.  One of the standards said you can't "kill women in public beatings" and you have to leave your birth country's lifestyle at home.  The first person to tell me the name of the Quebec town will win a copy of my book, Managing Human Rights at Work.

Related Resources:

    
 
This blog: http://www.humanrightseachday.com/

My website: http://www.stephenhammond.ca

My Podcast: Type in “HumanRightsaDay” to the iTunes store and listen to each day's event from my book, Steps in the Rights Direction (the easiest way is to go to the homepage of www.StephenHammond.ca )

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/Rightstoday (each day has historical human rights info)

Stephen Hammond, B.A., LL.B., CSP, is a lawyer-turned professional speaker. He’s written two books, Managing Human Rights at Work: 101 practical tips to prevent human rights disasters and Steps in the Rights Direction: 365 human rights celebrations and tragedies that inspired Canada and the world. Both can be purchased on his website www.StephenHammond.ca

copyright - Stephen Hammond - More than pain in the dentist's chair

Sex, Religion, Abuse - The Usual Media Frenzy

       Since I’m in the business of human rights and helping people “behave” for lack of another word, I sometimes think items jump out at me from the newspapers that others wouldn’t notice.  Hence I tend to see that human rights, whether workplace based or just plain life based are pretty big in our world.  But then there are times, I think, “come on, it’s not just me” as seems to be the case of ringing in the new year of 2012.

       We were greeted early this new year with banner headlines about whether same-sex couples married in Canada, but living outside Canada, were in fact still married.  It caused such a stir that our Justice Minister, Rob Nicholson had to make a pronouncement that the laws would be changed.  Even though his department’s lawyers had taken the opposite stance, he was going to ensure that all gay or lesbian couples who got married in Canada would have their marriage protected.  This way, even if they couldn’t get married in their state or country, they would be considered married and if they wanted to get divorced, they would be able to do that, without the normal residency requirements.

       Don’t you find this odd?  I don’t mean the whole same-sex stuff and the legal wranglings.  I mean that the world economy is still on the brink of collapse, we have whole industries that are in big, big trouble, our unemployment rate is going up and our country is on the verge of huge cut-backs in government spending to deal with our growing deficit.  Yet gay marriage gets centre stage.

       If our Prime Minister had his way, all the headlines would have been about him flying from one end of the country to the other, praising the $33 billion we’re about to spend on military ship building.  You might have missed it even though he actually held a press conference in Halifax last Thursday, flew 4,500 kms and on that same day held another press conference in North Vancouver.

       There were a lot of people quite upset that the same-sex news item, which possibly only affects perhaps 5,000 “foreigners”, trumped the news about a big, big expenditure that will certainly have a boost in some economies.  In fact, when a reporter asked the Prime Minister at the Halifax event about the same-sex foofarah, the proud ship building workers in the photo-op booed the reporter.  There was nary a mention of what the PM was doing in Halifax in the first place.

       Whether we like it or not, our hearts will often win-out over our heads.  The issues of human rights will continue to get massive coverage in our country and they will often greatly over-shadow other more cerebral issues of the day.  Over the holidays and into the New Year, these were just a few of the items that got people’s attention:

•    Dutch Queen Beatrix spoke out after being criticised for wearing a head scarf in a mosque on a visit to the United Arab Emirates.  This queen, like others, rarely comments openly especially when it comes from a Dutch politician, but she said his criticism of her was “nonsense”.

•    A poll found that while most Canadians trust RCMP officers, they have misgivings about the leadership of the force. This on the tail of months of headlines about allegations of sexual harassment and abuse at work.

•    A federal government worker won a ground breaking court case that expands human rights protection of “family status” to ensure that when she’s on maternity leave, she doesn’t miss out on job opportunities.

•    The head of Canada’s Human Rights Commission, Shirish Chotalia, was found to have harassed some of her staff and other complaints are proceeding.  It was also revealed that in the short time Ms. Chotalia has been on the job, more than half her staff left, took sick leave or retired.

•    A judge in the States released a letter that had been sent to Hewlett Packard which led to the firing of its former CEO Mark Hurd in 2010.  The letter from a lawyer made all kinds of allegations of sexual harassment by Hurd.  The company’s stock is down $20 from where it had been before the scandal and it doesn’t seem the issue is going away.

If you want some predictions for 2012, I can pretty much guarantee you’ll see...

•    The integration, or lack thereof, of Muslims in Canada and world-wide will get lots of attention.  Muslims are the fastest growing religious group in Western countries and these countries are struggling at work and in their communities to see them as real citizens (unless you lose the scarf);

•    Despite all the education and seminars, sexual harassment will bring down or greatly affect a number of prominent men in Canada and around the world.  Many of their humiliated wives will stand next to them as they claim their innocence or explain they had a brain tumour (which miraculously has just been cured);

•    The Supreme Court of Canada will address a number of issues related to human rights.  I could do my homework and check the roster of cases likely to be heard or decided in 2012, but I’m not even going to do that.  Take my word for it – the Supremes will be doing some of the work that politicians aren’t willing to do (and then get blamed for making the tough decisions).

       So folks, it’s not just me.  As a species, we’re struggling with differences.  So in countries where the rule of law doesn’t exist or is tenuous, these struggles will be resolved with deadly conflict.  In those countries where the rule of law works a bit better, these struggles will be resolved in the courts, the media, the government and in the coffee-shops.  Watch for them.

Stephen

Winner of last skill testing question:  Penni Kiss from Lethbridge gave the correct answer that it was Linus Van Pelt who said, "That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown."  Penni won a copy of both of my books.

Today's skill testing question:  On January 18, 2001 the Supreme Court of Canada upheld a second degree murder conviction and ordered the sentence of at least 10 years in prison.  This decision was controversial, with some seeing the act of killing as compassionate for the suffering of a daughter while others saw it as plain murder against a defenseless person with severe disabilities.  The first person to tell me the name of the man convicted of murder will win a copy of my book, Managing Human Rights at Work.

Related Resources:

    
 
This blog: http://www.humanrightseachday.com/

My website: http://www.stephenhammond.ca

My Podcast: Type in “HumanRightsaDay” to the iTunes store and listen to each day's event from my book, Steps in the Rights Direction (the easiest way is to go to the homepage of www.StephenHammond.ca )

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/Rightstoday (each day has historical human rights info)

Stephen Hammond, B.A., LL.B., CSP, is a lawyer-turned professional speaker. He’s written two books, Managing Human Rights at Work: 101 practical tips to prevent human rights disasters and Steps in the Rights Direction: 365 human rights celebrations and tragedies that inspired Canada and the world. Both can be purchased on his website www.StephenHammond.ca

copyright - Stephen Hammond - Sex, Religion, Abuse - The Usual Media Frenzy

Struggling with Differences...as we Approach 2012

Let's face it, we’re struggling with differences...even as we approach 2012

       A debate broke out at our dinner party on Sunday night and it made me think about how, at the end of this year, it has never been more obvious that Canadians, just like the rest of the world, are struggling with differences.  Without going into an exhaustive list, here are just a few…

•    Working women.  Sounds kinda funny doesn’t it.  Back in my Mom & Dad's day, those words referred to women working…outside the home.  But we’re still struggling with women in many workplaces, even though women make up the majority of students in universities and women have fared better than men during this latest financial debacle with the world economy.  The recent allegations of sexual harassment within the RCMP indicate that one of Canada’s most visible institutions is no different than other workplaces.  Or without knowing the full extent of it, it could be better or worse than many Canadian workplaces.  After all, the frank comments from our brand new RCMP Commissioner, Bob Paulson, are rather startling because he’s admitting openly that there’s a real problem.  Sexual harassment seems to be just one, but it’s still a sign that at the end of 2011, we’re not as far as my mother would have expected…after all these years of “working women”.

•    Mental awakening.  Whenever I think about the tip-toeing we do around mental health, I think about Michael Wilson.  Many years ago, I met Mr. Wilson, prior to him becoming a well-respected federal finance minister.  What a nice guy.  So when, years later, I read about the suicide of his 29 year old son Cameron, I felt awful.  The thing I remember the most is how, when Cameron was alive, Michael said he wouldn’t tell anyone about his depression.  Then after he died, he regretted doing that, because he realized it added to the stigma of there being something wrong with having a mental illness.  Just a few days ago, there was Mr. Wilson on the front page of the Business section of the Globe and Mail urging businesses to do way more to address mental illness at work.  The cases are coming on strong throughout Canada as persons with mental illnesses and disabilities are pushing back, just trying to say they want better conditions at work (including getting a job when an employer knows there's a mental illness).  Michael Wilson is also trying to get workplaces to reduce the stress that leads to mental illness.

•    What to wear, what to wear… For the conversations going on, you’d think the niqab that covers the face of a very select few Muslim women is the latest fashion trend sweeping the swearing-in ceremonies of Canadians-to-be.  “I hate those hats the Queen wears!  I’ll show her.  Instead of giving her my allegiance, I’ll be saying ‘rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb’ under my niqab.  Thank goodness for the Charter!”  Well, more to the point, thank goodness for Muslims since they take the heat off us homosexuals.*   But it seems Canadians aren’t the only ones confused about how to deal with the fastest growing religious group.  In the same week, I read that the U.S. government is recruiting more women from Muslim countries for science, technology, engineering and mathematics and yet the Lowes Company decided to yank ads from the TV show All-American Muslim.  We’ve got a long way to go…baby.

•    And finally, do we call this season, “Christmas” or “Holidays”.  It was reported just the other day that some Canadian schools tried to accommodate non-Christian students by cancelling Christmas concerts.  While they meant no harm, this is clearly the wrong approach and those schools who didn’t “dumb down” Christmas, but “smartened up” on all celebrations, took the right approach.  But folks, don’t be hi-jacked by those who are high and mighty about the “loss of Christmas”.  Have ya looked around lately?!?  I mean have ya??  Christmas now starts in, oh, mid-July and doesn’t stop till merchants have squeezed that last “post-post-post-Boxing Day, well, while we’re at it, pre-pre-pre-Christmas 2013” sale.  If you’re a Christian and truly desire the spirit of Christmas, go to church on or near Christmas, do some charitable work that Jesus would be proud of and give small, but meaningful gifts to those you care about.  “That’s what’s Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.”

       So as we make our way…gradually…to 2012, let’s hope we at least keep moving in the right direction when it comes to differences.  If huge changes are too much to handle, then how about more gradual change...in the right direction that is.

       To those who celebrate, Merry Christmas and to everyone, Happy New Year.

Stephen

*In case you didn't notice, that comment was my attempt at dry biting humour about the sad state of Muslims being the punching bags for anyone with hateful things to say.

Winner of last skill testing question:  Helen Sukovieff gave the correct answer that the actual meaning of Daschund is "badger dog".  Helen won a copy of Managing Human Rights at Work.  Others guessed correctly....but were just minutes later than Helen.  Good finger on the pulse Helen!

Today's skill testing question:  Who said, "That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown"? I need a first and last name and spelled correctly.  The first person to give me the correct answer will win a copy of my book, Steps in the Rights Direction.  If you name the year it was first said, I'll throw in a bonus of Managing Human Rights at Work.

Related Resources:

    
 
This blog: http://www.humanrightseachday.com/

My website: http://www.stephenhammond.ca

My Podcast: Type in “HumanRightsaDay” to the iTunes store and listen to each day's event from my book, Steps in the Rights Direction (the easiest way is to go to the homepage of www.StephenHammond.ca )

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/Rightstoday (each day has historical human rights info)

Stephen Hammond, B.A., LL.B., CSP, is a lawyer-turned professional speaker. He’s written two books, Managing Human Rights at Work: 101 practical tips to prevent human rights disasters and Steps in the Rights Direction: 365 human rights celebrations and tragedies that inspired Canada and the world. Both can be purchased on his website www.StephenHammond.ca

copyright - Stephen Hammond - Struggling with Differences...as we Approach 2012

Human Rights and Willis the Wonder Dog

December 10th is the 63rd anniversary of the U.N.'s Universal Declaration of Human rights.

That same day happens to be the 3rd birthday of our dog Willis.  I may love to talk about human rights and social justice, but they don't compare to my love of talking about Willis (just ask my sister).  For people who have pets, you know what I'm talking about.  So this newsletter is just to share with you the little guy who puts more smiles on my face, has me laughing more often and brings more joy to my life than most anything else (it's ok, Jack knows this)....oh yes, and give money to Amnesty International and the SPCA.

For those of you who could care less, skip this one and stay tuned for my next "serious" newsletter.

"Why are you disturbing me?"

Dachsunds hate the rain, but with his vampire cape, I think he manages.

Giving us a little "woof" to say, "throw the ball already!"

At a park while visiting Nelson, B.C.

In our garden, resting between ball-throwing.

Willis on way to the Georgian Bay.  He only flies business class (just don't tell him we get them on points...it takes away the snob factor for him)

In the Georgian Bay trying to get the ball without taking the plunge...even with his life jacket on.

A little further, but notice the back leg still holding onto the rock.

He takes the plunge after all...

...and to the victor belong the spoils.

Going for a boat ride...again, being safe.

Finally, back at home helping me write my newsletter.

Stephen

Skill testing question:  Willis a German dog.  What is the actual German translation for a dachshund?   The first person to give me the correct answer will win a copy of my book, Managing Human Rights at Work.

Related Resources:

    
 
This blog: http://www.humanrightseachday.com/

My website: http://www.stephenhammond.ca

My Podcast: Type in “HumanRightsaDay” to the iTunes store and listen to each day's event from my book, Steps in the Rights Direction (the easiest way is to go to the homepage of www.StephenHammond.ca )

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/Rightstoday (each day has historical human rights info)

Stephen Hammond, B.A., LL.B., CSP, is a lawyer-turned professional speaker. He’s written two books, Managing Human Rights at Work: 101 practical tips to prevent human rights disasters and Steps in the Rights Direction: 365 human rights celebrations and tragedies that inspired Canada and the world. Both can be purchased on his website www.StephenHammond.ca

copyright - Stephen Hammond - Human rights and Willis the wonder dog

Violence Against Women at the Hands of Men

       Today is the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women.  Last year I was at l’École Polytechnique de Montréal where 22 years ago 14 women were massacred by a gunman.  It’s so important to remember the women and I hope as every year goes by, the name of the killer will fall into obscurity.  The women killed were, Geneviève Bergeron, Hélène Colgan, Nathalie Croteau, Barbara Daigneault, Anne-Marie Edward, Maud Haviernick, Barbara Maria Klucznik, Maryse Laganière, Maryse Leclair, Anne-Marie Lemay, Sonia Pelletier, Michèle Richard, Annie St-Arneault and Annie Turcotte.

       After the massacre, women and men throughout Canada decided something had to be done.  With much wrangling and negotiations, the best our country could come up with was the gun registry.  That will soon be a thing of the past and people can scream all they want – this government is not interested.  If you want something which goes into a different direction than the U.S. on guns everywhere, it won’t be with this government.

       Yet not all dangers against women come at the end of a gun.

       Just two days ago, I was walking my sister to her car, a mere two blocks from our place in Vancouver.  It was after dinner and she was heading home.  As she got into her car, I hesitated to leave, wanting to be sure her new car didn’t break down, (rather odd) or that some guy wouldn’t jump out of the bushes before she locked her car.  While I cut through the very edge of Stanley Park to get back to our apartment, I was still in a very well lit parking lot and was right beside one of the most densely populated parts of Canada – in other words relatively safe (or at least for me).

       It dawned on me, yet again, how sad it is that for Canadian women, it’s a different world.  And that different world is showing itself in different ways right now.  Two are very prominent in the news:

1)    The Crown is wrapping up its case of the alleged “honour killing” of four women from Kingston: sisters Sahar Shafia, Zainab Shafia and Geeti Shafia; and Rona Amir Mohammad, the first wife of one of the alleged murderers.   The evidence presented is that Mohammad Shafia, his wife Tooba Yahya and their son Hamed Shafia killed the women because their independent actions brought shame on the family.

2)    We now have numerous allegations of sexual harassment within our national police force.  I read in this morning’s paper yet another RCMP officer is bringing forward allegations of sexual harassment within the force.  Until they are proven, they are all allegations, but you don’t have to be a rocket-scientist to imagine there are some male officers who still haven’t accepted women even though the first women joined the ranks in 1974.  In 2006 BC taxpayers paid $950,000 to compensate a former RCMP officer who was horribly sexually harassed by her staff sargent in the Merritt detachment.  He thought she was “milking the system” with her Postpartum depression so he made life hell for her and others followed.

       On December 6, 1997, the Marker of Change was unveiled at Thornton Park in Vancouver.

It’s a beautiful 300 foot circle of 14 pink granite benches.  Each bench has a chiselled dip in the middle, in the shape of what could be an eye.  When it rains, the water collects and it symbolizes the tear drops we may shed while thinking of that horrible day in 1989.  Prior to its unveiling, there was controversy over the wording on the plaque, as it states that the monument is dedicated to all the women who have been murdered by men.  I think there was some tinkering with some wording, but that part stayed.

       It might be a tough pill for us men to swallow, but there are times where we are responsible for the harm done to women.  Lumping both men and women into the blame, at times, is not productive, because we, as men, have to realize that the greatest harm towards women comes from men – often men very close to the women who are harmed.

       On this National Day of Remembrance, we can all reflect on the harm done to women by men and decide how we can change that…often one person at a time.

Stephen

 Related Resources:

    
 
This blog: http://www.humanrightseachday.com/

My website: http://www.stephenhammond.ca

My Podcast: Type in “HumanRightsaDay” to the iTunes store and listen to each day's event from my book, Steps in the Rights Direction (the easiest way is to go to the homepage of www.StephenHammond.ca )

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/Rightstoday (each day has historical human rights info)

Stephen Hammond, B.A., LL.B., CSP, is a lawyer-turned professional speaker. He’s written two books, Managing Human Rights at Work: 101 practical tips to prevent human rights disasters and Steps in the Rights Direction: 365 human rights celebrations and tragedies that inspired Canada and the world. Both can be purchased on his website www.StephenHammond.ca

copyright - Stephen Hammond - Violence against women at the hands of men